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Rather recently, I returned back into a fandom that I thought I was never going to get back into, and I suppose it has left me feeling rather strange. I suppose my return has more to do with unfinished business than actually writing for the enjoyment of the show. I have one massive work in progress that has left me extremely frustrated as I fight hard to produce a chapter suitable enough for what I envision the story to go.

To be completely honest with myself, I enjoy Merlin for everything it provided me with when I actually loved the show for the inspiration it gave to me and my writing. I met a lot of very lovely and talented writers that write for that fandom, and I enjoy their company very much. However, in recent years, my fanfiction writing took a back seat as I began writing my own stories that were more original. I fell in love with Arthurian Literature and chose to write my own versions instead of keeping things strictly for Merlin... and I fell in love with the lovely world of historical fiction as it allowed me to bring many obscure and nearly forgotten historical figures back to life.

However, even I have to admit to the fact that the world of historical fiction took a lot out of me. I became very obsessed with historical research and forgot myself as a writer until one of my old fandom friends began to pull me back into the world of the d'Artagnan romances. That was where I first started my humble beginning as a writer, and it seemed to be the place where I truly belonged. So, I put one of my original stories on hold and returned back into the world of fandom. I admit to the fact that even though I am not writing so much in one as I am the other, that I haven't completely stopped writing in either place. However, the demand for more original work and my willingness to provide it no matter what the cost took its toll on me, and suddenly I found that writing was more a chore that I hated than a hobby that I loved.

After the trauma of writing La Cerisaie, and after having done massive amounts of research into Mediaeval Bourgogne, its court and etiquette (since the court of Bourgogne was so much different than that of the Royal Court of France), and then the massive amounts of editing and character development, it left me mentally and emotionally exhausted. The demand for a sequel to that story was so high that it forced me into an indefinite hiatus as I felt that there was nothing more that I could do with the story.

During my hiatus from writing altogether, I had decided to get into contact with some old fandom friends of mine and they recommended that I return to something that made me happy. I returned with a few stories for the d'Artagnan romances and some for the CSI-Miami fandom, but then decided to return back into the original writing world with my version of King Arthur after discovering that I had a love for Arthurian literature.

I suppose that the Merlin fandom played a huge role in my interest with the many worlds of Arthur, and it is really thanks to Merlin that allowed me to play with the idea of writing more for original. I first dipped my toes in Arthurian literature when I signed up for the yuletide and wrote a fic based on Sir Thomas Malory's Le Morte d'Arthur, allowed me to use as much creative licence that I could get away with. It was the love for Lancelot and Gawain that first made me dip my toes in, and many of my earlier stories for my Arthurian romances dealt with these characters specially.

Since my return to fandom, I've discovered that it is difficult getting back into the swing of things. I've found that the characters for BBC Merlin are strangers, and they feel very faceless to me. Recently, I've found my muse for a Mordred story that is an AU of what took place during the fifth season canon, but it demands a specific type of character for Mordred that didn't really exist in Merlin. My version of Mordred is a young warrior that defies his destiny and fights for the good alongside the man he is destined to destroy, and I suppose that this is seen in Merlin but to a lesser extent as the focus of the final season was more upon the end of Arthur and the death of a great king.

I am not entirely sure if I am going to remain in the Merlin fandom for very long. I think I am going to see to completing the story I've left unfinished and write a story for a fest, but I don't think I am going to be doing anything new. I will publish the stories that I published to a writing journal on LJ, but outside of those stories, I don't believe anything new will come after this fest challenge.

I have decided that for the sake of keeping my stories in the same place, that I am going to be publishing the bulk of my work here to this account. My fanfiction will be published from here to A03 and FFN. My original work will only be published to this account. This will include my Arthurian romances/literature collection, and my novels based on the 'historical' Arthur.

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Aouregan

August 2017

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